Question 1 of 10
"When someone else takes charge of something that affects me, my first feeling is relief."
Question 2 of 10
You and your partner are deciding where to live. You already know what you would prefer. How does it actually go?
I say what I want, and then he decides. I meant both halves of that sentence.
I say what I want, and I keep saying it until the decision ends up being mine.
I say I do not mind. It is easier, and honestly I am not sure what I want.
I say I do not mind, and then I am quietly disappointed about it for a month.
I decide. I would rather carry it than live inside someone else's choice.
Question 3 of 10
Which statement feels more true for you?
Statement A
"Giving up control is something I do on purpose, and it costs me something every time."
Statement B
"Giving up control happens on its own when I trust someone. It should not feel like work."
Question 4 of 10
In the last month, how many times did you go along with something you did not agree with, and say nothing?
Question 5 of 10
You are doing something for your partner that you have done a hundred times before. Where is your head while you do it?
Completely there. Being there is the entire point of it.
On whether I am doing it right, and what they will think of it.
On my to do list. It is routine now, I could do it in my sleep.
On the fact that I could do this better if I did it my own way.
Question 6 of 10
Which would you rather hear?
Statement A
"I trust you, handle it however you think is best."
Statement B
"This is exactly how I want it done."
Question 7 of 10
"Even after I have handed something over, I am still checking that it is being done right."
Question 8 of 10
Think about how your relationship is actually arranged. Where did that arrangement come from?
We talked about it and decided on purpose. I could tell you the conversation.
It grew that way. Neither of us picked it, it is just what happened.
I copied something I had seen, and I am still working out whether it fits me.
I built it. It is arranged the way I arranged it.
Question 9 of 10
"If the person I trust turned out to be wrong about something important, I would say so out loud."
Question 10 of 10
Last one. Which is closer to the truth?
Statement A
"I could walk away tomorrow. I stay because I keep choosing it."
Statement B
"I could not really walk away. That is what makes it real."
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